Just watched this fantastic Creative Mornings talk by William Ury about negotiation (h/t). He notes that that crucial elements of negotiation are a) listening, and b) learning how not to be reactive. In his view, the biggest obstacle we have to getting what we want is ourselves.
Interestingly, that’s the same sentiment found in mindfulness study. Psychologist and meditation teacher Tara Brach has done a lot of instruction on the topic, and developed a tool called the RAIN method for helping people learn how to respond rather than react, though it is geared more toward internal rather than external conflict. Here’s a video of her speaking about it in 2011.
And back to the topic of work and how people make livings, Ury’s talk also reminded me of this anonymous interview with a negotiations coach in the What Do You Do series of anonymous interviews. It’s a really enjoyable read and hugely informative.